20 Games Banned From Egg Boss Meetings
by RejectSoul
Summary: Egg Boss meetings? Bad Idea. Egg Boss bonding? Bad Idea. Egg Boss quality time with games mixed in? Very Bad Idea. Of Eggman's various Bad Ideas, this one took the cake. And probably ate it. Warning: Contains a fair amount of insanity, various Egg Bosses not being good sports, and all around crack. Updates as sporadic as games sessions are crazy.
1. 1: Jenga

1\. Jenga

Maw looked around the table, where his fellow Egg Bosses were seated. It had taken a long while-too long-for him to be able to sit down, due to the impromptu round of musical chairs that started up once Akhlut and Tundra had realized they were to be seated next to each other, an arrangement neither was quite comfortable with. The routine of more-or-less-civil seat swapping quickly degenerated into a mad scramble for the nearest chair when the door opened. Eggman had then walked in, frowned at the Egg Bosses and the room in general, then launched into the briefing.

...Of course, Thunderbolt had long since slipped them copies of his script. It hadn't taken too much convincing, because very obviously if they knew ahead of time the briefing's content it would both increase the chances of the mission's success and improve Eggman's mood. He'd blown up at Abyss at one of the previous meetings following one too many questions regarding land vehicles.

"Any questions? Nope, didn't think so." Eggman was humming, a deceptively cheerful sound. "Moving on..."

Wait, what?

The Egg Bosses all glanced up as if yanked by their hair (fur, feather, or tentacle). That wasn't part of the script! Almost immediately, accusing gazes were turned on Thunderbolt, who crackled menacingly, dancing electricity a promise of a short, painful future to anyone daring to reveal her betrayal of sorts.

Seemingly oblivious to the sudden change in the mood, Eggman moved aside, allowing Orbot and Cubot to deposit a crate onto the table. The Egg Bosses craned their necks forward (resulting, of course, in a few head bumps and muffled curses) as he removed the lid, and produced a box. Beside Maw, Cassia giggled something and reached towards Eggman's back, only to have her hand batted back by Clove.

"The purpose of this exercise is to improve your work relationships!" He dropped the box on the table, revealing it to be a game of Jenga.

Oh.

OH.

Out of politeness, Maw decided to not express his discomfort at the idea. Most of the Egg Bosses felt no such compulsion, turning to those seated adjacent to them to make a remark, considering its context, on Eggman's less-than-intelligent idea.

"Oh, come on!" Akhlut threw his arms out sideways, elbowing Tundra in the gut in the process. (And why were they still seated next to each other anyway?!) "You can't be serious!"

"Yes, I am serious." He replied smoothly as if anticipating the protest. Akhlut made an unhappy gurgling noise but didn't respond.

"Well then, let's get this set up." Maw stepped in, shaking out the wooden pieces.

* * *

Akhlut paused, hand hovering over his block. His eyes then narrowed. Maw felt it at the same time.

"Is it just me, or is it cooler in here...?"

Behind the tower, Tundra snapped his mouth shut, but the damage had been done. Akhlut launched himself over the table in Tundra's approximate direction, toppling the tower in the process. At about the same time, Wendy flicked her cape, triggering Axel, who finished what Akhlut started. If the tower hadn't been fully demolished, his resulting rampage had taken care of that. Tundra was quickly turning purple-um, purpler, if that was even a word. Cassia was clinging onto Eggman, tugging on his facial hair. From his perch atop the table, Maw watched the chaos unfold with a morbid fascination, only ducking to avoid getting clotheslined by Axel and Thunderbolt.

* * *

"So, same time next week?" Eggman asked of the table, twitching moustache the only sign of his inner turmoil.

His suggestion (read: command) was met with a chorus of groans.


	2. 2: Snakes and Ladders

2\. Snakes And Ladders

After the giant train wreck that had been their last Egg Boss Meeting, Eggman's first order of business was to set down a number of ground rules.

Again, Thunderbolt had provided everyone with his carefully prepared powerpoint slides and speaker notes. The chinchilla had charged into the conference room minutes before the scheduled start time, in her arms the recently-printed photocopies. "There were a couple of last-minute changes in the plans," she panted.

The other occupants, long since seated in an agreed seating arrangement, busied themselves with distributing the papers. Clove handed Cassia her copy and slid the stack along to Abyss, who she found to be rather good company when looking past her arrogant personality. Most had barely finished skimming it before Eggman waddled in.

Eggman's stubborn streak was probably as wide as his belly, if he still thought this was going to work out. Ground rules or no, Clove doubted highly that all the Egg Bosses could cooperate long enough. Sure, Eggman could threaten to lock them up until his face matched his suit, but working together did not equal working together well.

And so, she watched with an impassive expression as he produced a game of Snakes and Ladders. He peeled out the paper board from the base of the box, showing it off to everyone. It was big enough for her to stand on one of the squares, a fact which Cassia also noticed. He then rattled off the memorized list of rules, which mostly addressed certain individuals ("For no reason may Tundra attack Akhlut." "And vice versa." "Do not under any circumstances mention, or reenact, anything that happened last week.")

"I do not have enough game pieces, so you will have to provide your own." The Egg Bosses looked at Eggman, then at each other. "Oh, and no touching anyone else's!"

* * *

"Okay, roll the die!" Cassia bobbed her head enthusiastically before chucking it at the floor. The pronghorn moved her game piece (one of her tonfas) forwards six spaces. She then handed it to Maw, who rolled a two and gave a quiet groan.

This was going to take a long time, Clove decided. Meanwhile, she occupied himself with observing the others. Sharp eyes scanned the room, pausing when they spotted someone. Wendy was a bit too close to Cassia for her own comfort, but Maw seemed like a reasonable individual. He was hovering over the die, like some kind of watch dog (watch thylacine?). Abyss had started chewing on a tentacle thoughtfully while scrolling past her Fishbook feed. It probably tasted like squid. Nephthys and Conquering Storm were hunched over a piece of paper in the corner, occasionally glancing up at the others. Axel was rattling his chains and miming strangling himself. Akhlut and Tundra...

She quickly covered Cassia's eyes from behind just in case her sister turned around. There was a such thing as too much information.

* * *

Pretty soon, a trend became obvious. If Thunderbolt's and Kukku's angry chirping was anything to go by, the two competitive individuals were not having the best of luck. A quick glance at the board confirmed it. Most of the pieces were distributed between the second and the seventh rows, except for a gigantic hat that obscured the entire top-left corner. It was now her turn, so Clove looked down at the glowing die. Then straight at Wendy, who shrugged all too innocently.

Snakes and Ladders was thus the second game to be banned permanently from the meetings.


	3. 3: Battleship

3\. Battleship

As Eggman waltzed in with a box, Conquering Storm resisted the urge to sigh, as she always found herself having to do. The dictator must be growing on her, and that was unacceptable, simply put. It was almost endearing, watching him try his best and fail. She would have intervened, if not for the simple fact that he would pitch a hissy fit about it. The lynx uncrossed and crossed her arms. One of these days, he'd eventually realize where he was going wrong. And he knew it. But really, did he have to exhaust every single possible option in the process of finding it?

"Battleship!" Abyss immediately perked up. Obviously, the one with the armada would be the most interested, for people had a natural tendency to be attracted to their element. Across the table, Kukku leaned forwards, oversize beak curving into a smirk. Oh, this was going to be interesting, all right. As Eggman set up the board in the middle of the table (it was a blue plastic monstrosity with tiny white and red pins, which he took his own sweet time to sort) she winked at Nephthys, holding up a sheet of blank paper.

* * *

"B, five!"

"Nope, missed! With this level of skill I'm surprised that you're considered a fearsome pirate. Can't even win a teeny fake battle!"

"Can it, scoundrel."

"Now, now, is that any way for a lady to speak? Pirate standards must have seriously dropped."

"Wipe that smirk off your face, landlubber, or I shall do it for you!"

"Actually, the Battle Bird Armada patrols the skies, so maybe 'aviator' is a more accurate term. C, four!"

Thunk.

Abyss stabbed the pin with more force than necessary into her plastic ship, before resuming glaring at her opponent.

Kukku was clearly enjoying Abyss's current state of distress a bit too much, leaning backwards in his chair and propping up his feet on the table. Beside the board, Eggman shifted his body so that he could see both sides a bit better, ignoring the rest of the proceedings in the hall. True to his name, the Battle Lord was royally kicking the squid's fleet's collective rear. She was currently standing with one foot on the table and the other on her chair, tentacles lashing around in agitation and towards the bird opposite her.

"It's done." Nephthys muttered, sliding the paper towards her. Conquering Storm looked down the list of names and wagers, and then at the vulture, with a look of bemusement. Nephthys shrugged, her mask hiding her expression.

And then there was a roar, as the last ship was sunk, followed by a crash as the table shifted, sending Kukku flying. "I'll get you for that, mouth-breather!"

Twelve pairs of frightened eyes flicked between the avian, who was now trying to dislodge his head from a new crater in the wall, and the seething squid. Abyss noticed their stares, and her skin slowly faded from the angry red to its original green. She then dropped back into the seat. Nephthys quietly handed over a bulging pouch to Hood, who was looking all too pleased. Conquering Storm wheeled her chair over to her partner in crime and helped distribute the winnings, while at the same time wondering how in the world had the snake predicted _that_.

* * *

Needless to say, Battleship was quickly added to the list of prohibited games to avoid a repeat incident.


	4. 4: Chess, 5: Chinese Chess

4\. Chess

"A game only for the most brilliant of tacticians," Eggman'd said. Axel grunted as Cassia made another illegal move, this time involving the mysterious teleportation of a piece into his king's personal space. The others had spotted it too, for in the next moment, Clove's hand swooped down to intercept the black pawn. "Cassia, go sit down." She said for the umpteenth, and final time based on the tone of voice.

Cassia looked at Clove with a pout, and he'd be damned if it wasn't the cutest thing ever. "Aww."

Behind them, Eggman shook his head, and looked down at his list. "Maw, you're the third name on here. Go play against Axel." Hopefully Maw at least was familiar with the rules of the game. Axel was secretly hoping for a challenge, but after ten minutes of Cassia he settled with just being grateful for the change.

A couple of seconds later, the pieces were returned to their posts. Axel sent forth his pawn, prompting Maw to move one of his own after a few seconds of deliberation.

A couple of moments later, Axel sent another pawn to intercept Maw's attack.

...And it got knocked out ten seconds into the fight.

This was getting exciting. A rook was ordered out by Maw, sent to safeguard his own pathetic chessmen. Where would he send it next, Axel wondered... His own queen made her move, graceful yet deadly. A few charged minutes as the opponents tried to decide on a course of action. Slowly, a bishop was pushed to the front, it was a trap, he knew it. Another tense silence as he revaluated his options.

And then a clicking sound, and the board was moved by something small, round and yellow. He and Maw turned to glare in accusing union at Thunderbolt, who was frowning.

"Meeting's been over for ages, you two."

The chess board was conspicuously absent from any future meetings.

* * *

5\. Chinese Chess

"...Chinese Chess." Eggman stated, shaking the box making the pieces inside rattle.

"Yes." Conquering Storm had decided that this was going to be worth it. If nothing else, it would be good for a laugh or two.

"Alright. I think you'll have to explain the rules first." And so she did, introducing the game while Eggman started setting up the board.

* * *

"So, it's something like Chess, huh? I can live with that." Hood slid into the chair as Conquering Storm moved the last soldier (pawn, at the others' insistence) from within the boxes onto an intersection. Really, how did one manage to place every single piece wrong? The snake looked expectant, already shifting in his chair and leaning forwards, eyes fixed on the pieces. If only he knew what was in store for him...

The lynx moved her chariot (rook) and smirked to herself.

* * *

"Dead." She flicked the general into Hood's lap. He looked down, and then levelled a venomous glare at her.

"Come on, let us at least have a turn! You've already lost five times!"

With that, the other Egg Bosses tipped the first of many victims out of his chair.

(She was good at this game. Too good, in fact, even managing to beat out Eggman much to his displeasure. It was decided there and then that rather than improve at Chinese Chess, they'd just ban it for being unfair.)


	5. 6: Monopoly

6\. Monopoly

The sixth decision to ban a game permanently was made after one of the now-rare productive meetings. So five minutes after concluding a session of Egg Army budget allocation Wendy found herself handing out wads of paper money. At their insistence, every member would be allowed to play individually (with the exception of Cassia, who wasn't exactly paying much attention to the actual game, long since distracted by the small game pieces).

As the witch started passing around the houses, Abyss took the opportunity to snatch the metal tokens from Cassia, grabbing the battleship, chucking the dog at Kukku and depositing the rest unceromoniously in the middle of the game board. He scowled at her, taking the top hat from a protesting snake and giving him the dog. Wendy saw Lord Hood flip him the bird (no pun intended). Eventually the terrier found its way into Maw's Vegemite jar, out of which he fished it with a look of distate. Akhlut was waving the jockey at Tundra and both were giggling for some reason or other. Axel was quietly contemplating the car. The other pieces were with their players except Clove's wheelbarrow in Cassia's hands and Wendy herself was holding the thimble. And thus, the game began.

* * *

"I think you're cheating." Tundra's eyes travelled from the dots on the dice to Wendy. Sulkily, she sent the thimble to jail, and muttered, "But I wouldn't have given myself such bad luck!" It was, what? The second time this happened? Third time's the charm, but she definitely didn't want to spend the rest of the conference desperately rolling dice hoping that the same bad luck that got her in would get her out of this mess. She'd already wasted quite a few turns, and with the large number of people, that meant a lot of time in which all she could do was quietly fret.

"Cheaters never prosper." Maw stated matter-of-factly, and she found herself hating all of them a little bit more.

* * *

The game ended with of all things, the bank going bankrupt, and Clove's money pile next to it was a bit too tall to avoid suspicion.

"All right, who let Cassia be the banker?!" Hood slammed his palms down on the table, mechanical legs leaning him over it.

"Stay in your lane, snake! Clove was being honest about not having anything to do with the theft." "How can you be sure about that, huh? Huh?" "Someone get her for fraud!" "Someone get them for fraud!" "Big stinking liars, the lot of you!" "You're one to talk!" "You!" "No, you!"

In the defence of the Northamer sisters insults were hurled, punches were thrown, and a few mishits courtesy of Thunderbolt caused the room to degenerate into a free-for-all brawl. Amidst the chaos, Wendy took the board (taking care to avoid the tiny paw-shaped stains) and lobbed it into the trash can. Definitely not worth the time.


	6. 7: Chinese Checkers, 8: Mancala, 9: Go

7\. Chinese Checkers

Conquering Storm privately suggested Chinese Checkers to Eggman with Nephthys to back her up. Even though the memory of their crushing defeats was still seared within the Egg Bosses' minds, they decided to give it a shot after Conquering Storm was formally barred from the matches. The lynx was more amused than offended, taking up the position of a referee instead. After all, there could never be too many eyes on the boards, or too many hands to break up a fight over who won a match. (Thunderbolt insisted that hogging the last space was a legal move, and even though she couldn't win, Tundra couldn't lose, and the walrus was grinding his teeth audibly while glaring her down. It was a legitimate, if childish tactic, and Nephthys filed it in her mental cabinet for future reference. If nothing else, she could try to replicate it if she played against her Yurashian counterpart.)

She loved this game, for it required little skill and much observation, and observation was one of the things she did best (although Nephthys could make a mean baklava if she put her mind to it). There was no way she could lose, she was going in mentally prepared, she already knew what to do and was absolutely not freaki-

"You're next." Thunderbolt had been forcefully displaced out of her seat by Akhlut who had then bested his bitter long-time rival (crush? They had a betting pool on how long it'd take for one of them to cave which already had a lot of gold, power rings and a couple of chaos emeralds in it) and was now looking at her expectantly.

Nephthys slid into the seat, and did not get up until the meeting finally ended.

* * *

As the last competitor slunk out past Conquering Storm into the hallway, defeated, Nephthys walked over and slapped her raised hand hard in the most awesome high five ever. Eggman, as the sole witness of this strange act, silently resolved to veto any games containing the word "Chinese" in future.

* * *

8\. Mancala

This time, Axel was the one to suggest a game.

"Mancala? I don't see why not." Thus, the next meeting saw the water buffalo lugging in a gigantic wooden board with carved holes in it. It hit the middle of the table causing the legs to creak slightly and Hood to wince.

Clove and Maw raised their eyebrows in recognition, but didn't comment as Axel produced a large number of marbles. He distributed them evenly across the holes. Scooping all the marbles out of one of the pits, he moved his hand, dropping them one by one into each he passed, explaining the different situations and courses of action when he ran out. When done, he looked up at Conquering Storm, smirk on face and challenge in eyes.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Axel was still dropping beads and grinning widely at the quietly fuming lynx, who kicked at the abused table and continued waiting for her turn.

* * *

9\. Go

"Sir, could we pla-"

"Mm, yes, I don't see wh- What, no, absolutely not! If I allow the game, one of you will keep winning, and everyone else will lose, and my army commanders will be unhappy, and their morale will drop and they won't listen to me because I'm bald, pathetic and totally unintimidating! So no, from now on I'm picking the games."

"Never mind."


	7. 10: Risk

10\. Risk

The game would have started a lot sooner if not for Abyss insisting that the oceanic parts of the map counted as territory. After a few minutes of Abyss shouting that the oceans were even bigger than land, Akhlut quietly agreeing with her, Kukku agonizing about being unable to claim the airspace, Tundra looking for the North Pole and failing, Cassia bugging Clove to tell her about the other countries, and Eggman calling for quiet until he went red in the face, they finally began. Each Egg Boss scrambled to claim their home continent with several notable exceptions. Even if the names were those given by the humans, they could still recognize the countries easily enough.

Due to a shortage of armies and for convenience's sake (and this Eggman was all too willing to insist upon), they organized themselves into teams. Thunderbolt decided to join up with the pronghorn sisters, quietly agreeing to occupy America first. Abyss pulled Akhlut and Tundra together much to the males' chagrin, but they went along with her anyway. She then winked at Nephthys and Conquering Storm, who were already peppering troops all over South and East Asia. Maw had troops on Oceania all the way up to Siam, and Kukku and Wendy were suggesting he attempt to sneak troops onto the mainland at the first opportunity. Lord Hood and Axel had predictably taken Europe and Africa respectively, and were currently unsuccessfuly trying to form an alliance. (It was less discussing, and more begging to be honest. Axel probably was familiar with the snake's habit of switching loyalties like he did pants. Okay, maybe that wasn't exactly the best way of putting it.)

Tundra's team, under his lead had occupied Greenland, Egypt, Irkutsk, and Northern Europe, Madagascar and Argentina, much to the others' amusement (exasperation in some cases). Naturally, their team was the first to lose after only a couple of rounds. Abyss was understandably upset, but the other two Egg Bosses only pulled out a small piece of scrap paper and amused themselves with tic-tac-toe.

And of course, the next order order of business on Axel's agenda was to attack Lord Hood, which he did gleefully. Their turns were spent going back and forth, one attacking and the other defending. They never saw the dual invasion staged by the American and Asian sides coming.

Oceania somehow wound up attacking itself, infighting sparked by a stray insult to a hat. Maw didn't know who did it, and didn't particularly care (hats were purely a cosmetic accessory, and were definitely not crucial to a person in matters other than image) but when Wendy shouted a curse of the magical variety it hit the thylacine instead of Kukku, and nothing was accomplished on their front. With two internal factions fighting, it was only a matter of time before they were kicked out.

Which left the only two teams demonstrating something resembling teamwork, Clove, and Thunderbolt against Nephthys and Conquering Storm. Cassia had appropriated a number of soldiers, which were promptly replaced, and as they counted the soldiers, they realized that they were evenly matched.

"Get the armies to Europe and prepare to attack." Conquering Storm muttered to Nephthys, but neither moved from where they were. Thunderbolt jolted Clove slightly, and flicked her head at the board, intent clear. Clove moved a good number of the armies from the west coast over to Greenland and Iceland, and a few from the south for good measure.

And realized her mistake when Alaska was invaded.

* * *

"Who prints black lines on a dark blue back-?!" Thunderbolt's defeat rant was cut short by Akhlut flying through the air, a true feat for his species. He hit the table hard, followed closely by Tundra. The clipboard they were using bounced off the orca's fin, then the head of the walrus, who immediately started using it to smack Akhlut.

Nephthys and Conquering Storm shared the opinion that at this rate they'd get nowhere. And that it was the fault of a certain dictator.

Somewhere in his happy place, Eggman sneezed.


	8. 11: Clue

11\. Clue

Hopefully this game wouldn't result in a fight. Eggman mopped his brow, and looked over the rules of the game one more time. Clue was a murder mystery game, which may prove a bit challenging to those who were not known for their intelligence. That, and actually remembering who was who. The details were giving him a headache. He eventually put everything back into the box and pushed it across the table.

"I have some urgent business to take care of, so I won't be monitoring you. I have to trust you to be able to behave." Akhlut coughed. "Recall the rules that I set down and under no circumstances..." He then trailed off before quickly running out of the room. The others looked at each other, shrugged and tore into the box like it was a present.

* * *

"Who even keeps track of all those names?!" Mr. Green shouted from within the conservatory, after yet another case of mistaken identity.

"I don't know!" Mrs. Peacock answered a couple of seconds later.

"Okay, maybe we should just ignore the names given." Mrs. White offered. "So you'd be Mrs. Hood, and I am Mrs. Storm. And there, in the lounge is Mr. Axel."

A groan could be heard from the kitchen doorway.

* * *

"Mr. Maw, in the kitchen, with the spanner."

Maw leaned over and frowned. "That doesn't sound like an effective weapon. Besides, knives would be more readily available here."

Abyss rolled her eyes at him. "Make that Mr. Maw, with the poison, in the dining room."

"Better."

* * *

Tails followed closely behind Sonic as they sped through the base, leaving a trail of bowled over badniks in their wake. He glanced to his left, and saw a door that was ajar. Out of curiosity, he pushed it further open and was greeted with a few snatches of conversation.

"-can't possibly have done it, there's no way-"

"-then it was Mr. Akhlut in the kitchen with Professor Tundra-"

"-can't even shuffle the cards properly, you get to sit the next round out-"

"Hello?"

The voices died down as the Egg Bosses registered his presence. Tails moved into the room as they watched him with suspicion, except for Clove, who was squinting at a pair of cards. That, and the game board...

"Is that Clue?" They nodded. "May I join?" They nodded again.

* * *

"You think I did it." Knuckles the Echidna crossed his arms. Beside him, Sonic the Hedgehog leaned over. "Nah, it can't be him. He'd never be able to pull off a murder without getting caught." "Isn't that the point of the game? Axel, your turn."

"Eggman, in the conference room, with the, uh." Nephthys was about to remind Axel that he wasn't one of the suspects when she felt a pair of beady eyes boring into her back. He didn't look too happy.

Sonic disappeared from his seat. A couple of seconds later, a blue blur whisked his two friends away, sending them around Eggman and into the corridor. Quickly, Lord Hood shouted, "They forced us to do it!"

The Egg Bosses' boss screamed an obscenity (Clove covered Cassia's ears) before performing a headcount, frowning, and repeating it. Tundra quickly extracted Thunderbolt from under the table and slipped her into her seat, where she continued to tremble with barely suppressed rage, twitching almost in time with Eggman's moustache before he stormed out of the room on a hedgehog hunt. Good luck with that.


	9. 12: Ouija, 13: Charlie Charlie Challenge

12\. Ouija

The heavy wooden slider was instantly recognised, and received with a mixture of anticipation and apprehension. Mostly apprehension.

"If this place turns out to be haunted, you and I are getting out of here Ay Sap." Cassia whispered loudly to her sister.

Eggman pointedly ignored the pronghorn, instead handing the planchette to Axel. He watched him rap on it with four fingers once, twice, thrice before speaking. "I am a man of science and thus don't believe in what I can't see. I'll leave figuring this mystery out to you." He then left at a dignified waddle leaving the Egg Bosses to their own devices (or in this case, singular device).

"Eh, may as well." Maw, surprisingly, was the first to break the silence. "Let's see what this does."

* * *

"Are you there?" Thunderbolt decided to ask the first question, paw resting on a corner.

Axel pushed the planchette, watching as it shifted towards- "Yes. That should be a good thing, right?"

"Well, that's to be expected." Tundra grunted. "How about whether it minds our asking? It's only polite."

A little push, and the slider went over to the No side.

"That's pretty boring. I say we start on the open ended questions. Who stole my phone?"

T-H-U-N-

"Okay, we've seen enough."

The Egg Bosses looked at each other, before starting to pelt the board with question after question.

"How do we get Eggman off our case?" "What's your favourite food?" "Should we cancel these meetings?" "Should we not cancel these meetings?" "Who is the best Egg Boss?" "Where'd Axel park his bike?" ("CANT", "PASTA", "NO", "NO", "STOP" and "ASDFJKL" respectively.)

"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck-"

At this, the slider launched itself off its paper and into the furthest corner of the room.

There was a really long pause, as the Egg Bosses stared at it.

"Well."

"I think we offended it."

"Maybe let's ask the important questions now."

Axel nudged the board back with one finger as if it'd bite him, and with great reverence, placed it between the Yes and No.

"Will Eggman ever beat Sonic?"

The Egg Bosses glared at the answer. The answer glared back. And in a rare display of total agreement brought on by self-preservation, they agreed to never speak of it again.

* * *

"Yo, guys?"

All eyes turned to look at Thunderbolt, who was holding the slider up, its tip adhered firmly to the No.

"I think it just broke."

* * *

13\. Charlie Charlie Challenge

Heads turned as Eggman entered the room with a phone in hand, and breaths were released as gazes did not find any indication of a game. Maybe Eggman had finally taken a hint and decided to repurpose these pointless meetings. Hopes were dashed by his turning of the screen, with large font size 20 text splashed across reading "#charliecharliechallenge". And any chance of backtracking was nullified by his proud withdrawal of two freshly sharpened pencils from a hidden pocket.

"Oh, no, no Thunderbolt, bring those papers here." Addressed chinchilla paused with one foot extending in the direction of the shredder. The rest resolved to silently mourn the loss of a potentially productive afternoon. Well, if nothing else...

"Sir, I absolutely must insist you join us this round."

Shocked eyes turned to look at Abyss, who instead of appearing apologetic due to her verbal faux pas, was quite comfortably lounging in her chair with the backrest nearly horizontal to the ground. "After all, we have much to thank you for."

Eggman crimsoned slightly. "Well, if you say so..."

* * *

"No thank you!" His words echoed off the walls as he made a mad dash for the exit.

Abyss used a tentacle to prod the pencil now in the "Yes" quadrants. "For a person who works with magic and spooky sciences on a regular basis, he sure is terrified by spirits."

"Maybe it's karma." Nephthys suggested, and a few found their heads nodding along in agreement.

Again, Thunderbolt would serve as the mouthpiece of the group. This may or may not have been related to her ability to perfectly balance objects like pencils and sliders.

"Would you like a drink?" Better safe than sorry, right? This time it rotated to the "No".

"Are you the only spirit in the room?" Thunderbolt had forgotten to replace the pencil, but it didn't matter, for the pencil tilted up and flopped onto the "Yes"s.

"Was that you yesterday?" It didn't budge, so either it was also an affirmative, or the spirit had excused itself for a toilet break. Trick question time.

"What's cooking good looking?"

The pencil jumped and stabbed itself a bit violently into an "No", through the oval formed by Clove's loopy handwriting. Immediately after Thunderbolt was catapulted rudely back by a ghostly fist (or it could have been an elbow or boot, really) to the wires.

* * *

"I think the Ouija board hasn't come unstuck, so because of your spirit glue or something we'll have to communicate like this."

The pencil hovered slightly apologetically over the new piece of paper.

"Are you a ghost? A real one, I mean."

A pause, before the pencil pointed to a "Yes".

"You had a life?"

Somehow, the following movement of the pencil communicated volumes. More precisely, "I don't know whether to answer that."

A long pause. And then-

"You are on camera, so I suggest you smile."

"Who's dong it? It better not be Eggman..." Akhlut got up, pacing the length of the conference room and sweeping it for bugs. He may have been bad at this usually, but the device was a huge camera complete with 20cm lenses. He turned it over to see a vaguely familiar mask staring back.

With a "Thanks!" to the thin air, Thunderbolt was already running to where he stood shaking the screen demanding a response.

* * *

Phage wouldn't delete the recordings, and was currently hogging the screen from the other side. After more futile cursing Akhlut slammed the device on the table, causing it to shatter.

Silence.

Then, a quiet "ow" from the dark screen.

"Okay, no more games relating to the supernatural. If he's not going to sit through this, he can't expect us to. And someone tell him to get this virus of his under control!"


End file.
